Being Vietnamese-American in Vietnam

The current ETAs were given a list of topics to choose from regarding tips they would like to provide for incoming ETAs. I immediately chose "Being Vietnamese-American." The following is a list I reflected upon and compiled, with the approval and edits provided by other Viet-Am ETAs.

Coming to Vietnam as a Vietnamese-American can be a complicated, emotional matter. On the one hand, we’ve been raised in the diverse community that America provides, somehow still feeling a lack of belonging in this country that our families set foot on a generation or two ago. On the other, we are the perpetual foreigner in a country our parents once considered their homeland. To help you as you journey through the land of your roots, here are some tips from past Vietnamese-American Fulbrighters:

1)    Balance family and work carefully: Whether this is your first or one of many visits to Vietnam, your itinerary will inevitably include visiting relatives. For some of us, our relatives lived on the other side of the country from our placement. In my case, my relatives were a 2.5-hour bus ride away, making it easy for me to visit my relatives every weekend if I wanted to. Either way, we had to recognize that we had to balance building relationships with our long-lost family with work and relationships in our province. Family can be a great support system, and yet it is also important to build a strong support system within your province, which may include your students, fellow staff members, local folks, or other ex-pats. 

My family in Da Nang

My homies in Hue

2)    Form your own perspective by balancing personal history and values with newfound knowledge: Many Vietnamese people left their homeland due to fear of what would happen to their future, and some have yet to return. Since childhood, we may have heard stories about our parents’ struggles and have formed a certain perspective about what Vietnam is like now.  However, almost 40 years since the reunification of the North and the South, relations have changed nationally and internationally. The North is no longer a place to fear, the South is no longer seen as home to a “U.S. puppet” government, and Bác Hồ has become an immortal image painted on billboards and drawn throughout comic books. Keep your mind open to learning about different perspectives on Vietnamese life now and in the past. (This would also include compromising progressive/American social-justice related views, as most provinces may at first seem outrageously traditional and patriarchal.) These viewpoints may differ with your own at first, but what’s important to take away is that these perspectives will grant you insight about the history and the culture in your province. You will be sure to learn a lot given that your conversational partner feels safe with you.

My graduating students, my American and Vietnamese regional culture teachers

3)    Engage in learning Vietnamese, especially the dialect within your province: Our Vietnamese skills ranges all across the spectrum; one of us was able to confidently hold a conversation in Vietnamese on the first day of orientation, while others grew up with little to no Vietnamese language exposure. Whatever background you have, the best way to learn about a culture is to learn the language, particularly the language of your province. I was placed in Huế, which is famously known throughout Vietnam to have the most difficult accent to understand. I initially struggled with daily interactions, especially since I had a stronger background in Hà Nội dialect from orientation and Sài Gòn dialect from American schooling. But after developing relationships with local folks and with the help of my Vietnamese teacher, I not only understood the Huế dialect a couple months in, but I was able to make jokes and translate English into the local language. In turn, my friends and students felt closer to me and more open to sharing their experiences and perspectives.

Thao, my Hue homie / Hue-speak teacher / sister from another mother

4)    Seek support and support yourself: We Vietnamese-Americans are more susceptible to something called the “Việt Kiều blues—“ where our problems seem to be derived from the fact that we hold this special double-identity. However, the best way to get over the blues is to process them with close friends. Perhaps even an even better way would be to process them with fellow Vietnamese-Americans, whether they are in the Fulbright program, are in Vietnam, or are from home, especially since the intersection of identities allows both parties to discuss struggles and solutions that have worked or may work for both. Also, find ways to support yourself. Even though you have Vietnamese roots, you can engage in Western activities guilt-free because you were raised in America. Have “Tây” days where you hang out at a fully enclosed coffee shop complete with back-supporting chairs and chest-level wooden tables. Video-chat with friends back at home in English. Find food that reminds you of home to help cure the homesickness. Do what you need to do to process and heal, because only then would you be able to fully engage in the community once again.

Rice paper wrap + rice vermicelli + bo vien + bo kho + tomato sauce + lettuce + hot sauce = Vietnamese burrito

5)    Recognize and embrace the double identity: We’re outsiders in our own country, and outsiders in Vietnam. Where the hell do we belong?! Our initial stage of excitement came crashing down when we realized that we weren’t Vietnamese enough to blend in with the locals, yet not American enough to be “oohed” and “awwed” over when ordering in Vietnamese at food stalls. (For example, a waitress at a café was unimpressed with my full-Vietnamese sentence requests in comparison to my British friend’s Vietnamese pronunciation of “cap-pu-chi-no.”) Indeed, non-Vietnamese foreigners will get more positive attention initially, but the novelty of the foreigners will soon wear down and the Việt Kiều blues will yield to patience and continual desire to learn about our “quê hương”. We as Vietnamese-Americans can connect with Vietnamese patrons through similar upbringing and cultural habits, and we have a more tuned tongue in learning the language. For those of us who often get called out for not looking the part, once we explain our role in the province and our background as a Vietnamese-American, we can open the doors to meaningful relationships, or just get them to stop singling us out. We may never stop being an outsider, but that in no way prevents us from learning from the locals as well as sharing our own experiences in a form of reciprocal education.

Reppin' Hue and Danang, my ques!

By all means, this is not a complete list of tips, but these are the words of advice that are most prominent in our minds at this point in time. If you have any questions or want to talk a problem through, we are more than willing to help out. Contact us! [...]

I haven't turned the list in yet, so if any other Vietnamese-Americans who have lived in Vietnam would like to add to the list, please comment! Thanks!