Being a Viet Kieu Womyn

Simply put, "Viet Kieu" means "overseas Vietnamese." In a more complicated sense, being Viet Kieu can be a blessing and a curse. During orientation, we were warned by Ms. Ginger Davis about the difficult nature of being Viet Kieu in Vietnam. As children to people who fled the country while it was "reunifying," people of the older generation can hold grudges against what we represent rather than who we personally are. However, I've learned that there's more to that in the interactions that I've had with Vietnamese people, especially as a Viet Kieu womyn. I will illustrate what I mean by comparing and contrasting my (VKW) interactions with Vietnamese people as a Viet Kieu Womyn versus any other foreigner's (AOF) interaction with Vietnamese people.

1) When greeting / talking to a new Vietnamese person:
To AOF: "*smiles and giggles* Oh, your Vietnamese is so good!"
To VKW: "*frown of disappointment* Your Vietnamese is horrible / You lost your culture." or the occasional "*smiles and giggles* Oh, your Vietnamese is so good! Did your family speak to you in Vietnamese growing up?"

2) When hanging out with a group of Vietnamese womyn:
To AOF (usually in front of me): "Oh, you're so beautiful / handsome!"
To VKW: *stares at my hair* "Are you growing out your hair?" (inferring that that's what I should do) or "Why are you so dark? I thought you were Lao."

3) When talking to an elder:
To AOF: *usually welcoming, smiling demeanor*
To VKW: "Where are your parents from? When did they leave Viet Nam?" *calculates what year that is relative to the war* *silence* "You need to improve your Vietnamese."

4) When bargaining at a market:
To AOF: *overcharges with a smile*
To VKW: *overcharges without a smile*

Okay, that's not to say that I always get negative experiences as a VK. I definitely am able to get closer to my students and other Vietnamese friends because I have some capacity of speaking Vietnamese. In fact, when I was hanging out with Hong and Tuan Anh the other day, I was able to initiate telling a story in Vietnamese rather than just responding to their questions. (That's a pretty big deal when we're thinking about extra-language development, and it should be marked in my Vietnamese Language Learner progress report for my first-quarter report.) Also, growing up with some Vietnamese customs engrained in my mind has helped me make less faux-pas when navigating this new environment. (However, I still notice that AOFs are more easily forgiven than VKs are -- the curse of high expectations.) I guess those less-pleasant interactions come from the high expectations that Vietnamese people have for other Vietnamese folks, whether or not they were actually raised in Vietnamese.

However, upon reflecting on these experiences, I'm not upset with myself and the people themselves. In fact, thinking more about my interactions with students and womyn in general, I'm more so upset about the internalization of what beauty means in Vietnam. I constantly hear about students talking about how their skin color is ugly is it's not white enough, how fat they think they are (when they're 2/3 my size), how much they don't like their hair, etc. You wonder where they get these conceptions of beauty, then you turn on the TV and see female actors in shows and advertisements with skin as white as snow, who are as thin as my wrist.

Of course, the level of media influence here is no different from America, but somehow here, a lot of young womyn are less self-confident and internalize these negative thoughts about themselves. Hence, when I do have one-on-one conversations with some of them,  I make it a point to talk about awesome they are and how much they don't need a man to make them happy. In fact, a couple friends and I here tend to go off on our womyn-empowerment tips whenever we see each other and hang out with others. Shoot, maybe I should initiate a conversation about starting up a womyn's club for the school with some of the other teachers so we can take these type of discussions to the next level. Or I could relate the next speaking / American culture lesson to seeking things that we like within ourselves (thanks Jenelle for the idea!). Whatever the next step is, it has to help address the students' mental and emotional health so they can feel more confident in themselves, and thus be more comfortable in the classroom and life in general.

Ptolemy vs. Galileo

Back when I was teaching 5th grade, one of my favorite (and at the same time, once feared) themes was "Our Corner of the Universe." (I used to have this irrational fear about the universe, so somehow, I managed to avoid learning specific details beyond the fundamentals of the solar system until I started teaching.) Getting back on topic, I remember that one of the introductory "Read Alouds" was about Ptolemy's theory and Galileo's theory about the universe. Ptolemy believed that the universe revolved around the Earth, and since Galileo's theory about heliocentrism clashed with this dominant thought, everyone thought he was crazy. As modern-day scholars, my students laughed at Ptolemy and scratched their heads at the thought of Earth being at the solar system's center. Yet, that was the dominant thought at that point in time, and there wasn't much at Galileo could do to prove himself because he couldn't share his knowledge in a way that was comprehensible to the public.

Sometimes, I feel like Galileo.

Here in Vietnam, I'm on a mission to prove to the people around me that education should be student-centered. Education institutions exist to serve students to help them reach their goals and future aspirations. Classrooms should allow students to process their thoughts and experiences in relation to the given lesson, and they should have the appropriate amount of time and environment to do so. Administration and staff should wholly support what it takes to support student learning (given, within their limitations). By the end of the semester, students should be able to understand where they are relative to their learning goals, and what next steps they should take in their next course within similar subjects.

However, I feel like I have a bunch of Ptolemists working against my mindset and actions. The administration at my school has accepted students last minute (weeks into the school year) to receive more money, without taking into consideration the teachers and students they are inconveniencing. Thus, I have no confirmed registration for any of my classes, making it difficult for me to properly track students progress because I have new faces in my class each week. My department notifies me the day of or a few days in advance of school events that require me to cancel classes, and when I go, everything is in Vietnamese and everyone in the audience is sleeping. The tech room rarely opens in time for me to get the necessary materials and to get to my class early or even on time. Students are scheduled to meet with me once a week. (How the heck do you learn how to speak English fluently if you only speak it 1.5 hours a week?) Also, the construction outside my classroom always knocks out the first ten minutes and the last 15 minutes of my lesson. (Make that 1 hour a week.)

I've been real flexible about all the conditions. I've created rosters and informally tracked student progress on the roster. I've cancelled my class, and throughout the assembly, I thought of all the good reasons why I was there (i.e. seeing my students being rewarded with high honors and scholarships towards the end). I patiently wait for the tech room to open and apologize to my students for being late if I am. I yell over the construction, then decide to close the doors and windows, and if that doesn't work, I'll end class. I've been reaaaal flexible in comparison to how I usually handle these type of situations in the U.S. (Remember, when in Vietnam...)

And yet, I can't help but be frustrated with the fact that this institution is not proving to be student-centered -- meaning, they are even allowing a type of environment where they cater to staff and students in a way that they support what's best for student learning. Why not advocate for multiple class meetings throughout the week to allow meaningful practice? Why not lessen student workload so they can spend time qualitatively learning each subject? Why not create a calendar for staff and students for us to know in advance of upcoming school events? Why not keep tech folks accountable for showing up early to make sure teachers get to start class on time? Why not ask construction workers to work during times that students aren't in classes? These are questions that I ask myself all the time, and when I bring it up with Vietnamese folks, I just get the "I don't know" and double-hand shake-wave. (Vietnam homies, you know what I'm talking about.)

Back in the States, it was so easy to do things the way I saw fit for my students since my administration knew how committed I was to my students and trusted me. However, being in a new country, I've been forced to adapt my ways to fit the environment I'm in. I've been able to backwards plan lessons that I see fit for students, and I often do my best to plan activities where they can engage in the content in meaningful ways. I have a big learning curve to deal with when it comes to understanding the learning culture here... yet, I'm still aiming to share and learn how we can make classrooms for student-centered, whether it takes converting one Ptolemist at a time, or working together with a group of Galileo followers to make the education here as student-centered as possible.

American Homies in Viet Nam

Vay and Armael visited last week, so I got to take a break and be a tourist for a bit. Unforunately, Vay was sick one day, so Armael and I explored on our own. We rented a motorbike, ran errands, and ended up at Thuan An Beach in Hue. The beach was basically secluded, minus some students who were enjoying a post-school day and flirty afternoon together. Armael played the Uke, and we chilled out.

I joined the guys on a weekend trip to Hoi An, where we stayed at my aunt's hotel and hung out at the beach. Here, the guys are showing off their newly clipped toenails.

We met up with Nhuanh, then headed into the town after eating Com Ga. Because it was Tet Trung Thu (Mid-Autumn Festival), the town turned off all their lights and kids were dropping off lit lanterns into the river while other kids paraded around with their lionheads. 

A womyn lighting lanterns to be dropped into the river.

The homies before the rain set in!

We met up with my new friends who are staying in Da Nang, Leslie and Casey. Leslie is an English Fellow who is teaching English at Da Nang University, and Casey is her husband. She heard about me through Fulbright, and since I'm the only other person based on Central Vietnam, we got in contact.

I got to catch the tail-end of Tet Trung Thu at Hue. No lanterns on the Perfume River, but the bridge does have a beautiful light display at night time.

I was told last minute that I had to attend the opening ceremony for our college. I was conflicted with canceling class or holding class and attending after. However, I decided "when in Vietnam..." and cancelled my class to attend the full ceremony. It was quite tedious, given that there was no English translation and that some speeches were long and uninspiring, but seeing some of students receive awards towards the end made it all worth it.

Nhuanh was in town for her cousin's wedding, so we met up for Banh Hue.

This is why it's so easy to get fat in Central Viet Nam -- hella good food.

Nhuanh dropped off a gift form Vay and Armael -- a loving message written on a banana that ended with a drawing of the cookie joke. <3

The message was edible!

I came back to Ha Noi for the Fulbright 20th Anniversary Gala and to handle some visa extension paperwork. I stayed with Amelia and Vanlam for the first three nights, and we made sure to enjoy all the things that we typically don't get in our province, particularly Thach Dua (coconut with jelly inside). Yum!

14 of the 15 ETAs came through (we missed you, Justin!) and we reunited with our favorite hotel staff/friends of all time. Here, Lam and Quan are displaying how much love we have for each other.

My Fulbright teaching team! =)

(Most of) the ETA ladies at the Gala.

(Most of) the ETA guys at the Gala (and Andrew, our honorary ETA/awesome instructor/ride-or-die "doggie")

The next morning, there was a Fulbright football (in America, called "soccer") game against another fellowship program. It was great being able to return to my old habits of heckling along the sidelines and playing sports photographer (as I used to do back in high school).

Later on that day, we had lunch at Chi Diu's. Amelia and I helped prepare the spring rolls in pho rice paper (center). Also, best new discover this weekend: Taro fries. Get on it, America!

At the end of lunch, Chi Diu's son showed off his English/singing skills. He's absolutely adorable!

Probably one thing that was stuck with me for the past two weeks was how much I appreciate being able to be myself. When Vay and Armael visited me, I went back to old habits of joking around and speaking using slang that is common in the Bay Area. (Even my blogging isn't really my real form of speaking.) During my trip to Ha Noi, I got to reminisce about things I enjoyed about American Culture with my ETA friends, especially concerning hip-hop and Chappelle show skits. I can't say that I'm particularly homesick, but moments shared like those remind me of the little things I miss. I used to quote Chappelle and Will Ferrell like crazy, turn on the radio or Pandora and jam to some good ol' hip-hop, and indulge in silly comedic clips on Youtube. I do less of that in Hue because I haven't really discovered such a scene or group of friends that do similar things, but that's part of immersion in a different culture. There are things that you put on hold because it's not readily available, and that's okay. Hue -- and Vietnam in general -- has been so wonderful to me in different ways that I'm okay with holding a reserve of things that used to make me, me. Hopefully, in the near future, I can do what other ETAers / English fellows have done in terms of integrating things that I like to say into the English lesson.

I will end this post of a song Andrew put me onto. Definitely wouldn't have heard about it without his recommendation. (Thanks, holmes!) Friends, please feel free to send me some good music, because it would definitely be a nice break from One Direction's "That's What Makes You Beautiful..."

A Day in the Life of Cô Giang (on this particular Wednesday)

2:30 Wake up scratching that random mosquito bite on thigh. Try to go back to sleep after applying one layer of Cortizone.

2:37 Lie restless, wanting to scratch, and realizing I need a second layer. Might as well put on a layer for seemingly latent bites.

6:00 First alarm – snoozed

6:10 Second alarm – quit

6:25 Wake up with my phone in my hand, instinctively waiting to turn off the third alarm before it rings.

6:40 Skipped the shower to get ready. Clip in two thick bobby pins to tuck in the two inches of hair that grow from my once shaven head to blend in with the rest of the Vietnamese. Eyeliner applied to look five years older than I really look (which, to students, makes me look 23). Sit in front of my computer for a few seconds, deciding what I have time to eat: Special K with milk, Special K with yogurt, or banh mi trung (egg sandwich) from the ladies outside. I decide to go with Special K with yogurt, because I have to finish my milk and I will get banh mi after class anyway

6:55 Stroll to my American Culture class. I usually like being early, but the room with the projector keys and sound systems are usually 10 minutes late (which would make me 15 minutes late), but luckily, they are open early.

7:00-8:40 Teach American Culture. Today’s lecture is about (dominant) American values and beliefs. Bite my tongue often to not yet insert my own values and beliefs in contrast – decide to save it for part two of the lecture next week (where I keep it real). Instead, focus on what the students can teach me about Vietnamese values and beliefs in comparison and contrast to the American ones. Bribe with banana candy (keo xop chuoi) for participation. Wait, did you say Vietnamese government was a menace to society? Oh. She said, “Vietnamese government manages society.” I need to calm down with my radical thoughts.

8:40 Stroll to administration office to ask for my Speaking class roster. After four weeks, they still don’t have it. Right. Leave the office, wondering if I’m hungry enough to get a banh mi, or go straight to the gym. After seeing my banh mi sisters being forced to move their stall by the local authorities, I decide I’m not that hungry and will go straight to the gym.

9:00-10:00 Somehow get caught up between cleaning my room, checking e-mail, eating my second bowl of cereal. Yogurt this time.

10:00-11:30 Bike to Indochine (baller-est hotel in Hue) to participate in my MWF workout. Run on the treadmill. Add incline. Add speed. Add time. Cooldown. Arms. Abs. Stretch. Done.

11:30 Jump off a curb on my bike, chain falls off gear. Luckily, I saw a Vietnamese person fix this before. Memory moves fingers nimbly through the gear to retrieve the chain. Done.

12:00 Run into Steven, another teacher at Trung Dai Hoc Ngoai Ngu, and fellow food adventurer, at Loving Hut, our favorite vegan restaurant (thank you Jenelle for putting us onto vegan food). Clean my hands of chain oil and com dia (rish dish with plenty fixings) is out by the time I am. Scarf. Go.

12:18 Bike chain comes off again right before I reach my usual photocopy place. Really? Fix it outside the shop as I multitask, asking about my copies. Man at shop offers to fix the bike while I hold his baby. No. I got this. Pay Chi Mai. Go.

12:40 Showered. Packed. Am I still hungry? Or do I want coffee? No time for coffee. Pop in some coffee candy. Go.

13:00 Arrive to projector room with one of my students, Heng, who’s Chinese and learning Vietnamese AND English. Guy comes and opens it at 1:08PM. Great.

13:10-14:40 Teach Speaking 1 to first year students. As the first speaking class of the week, it’s a bit of trial and error before I master the fourth lesson by Friday. However, the students liked the lesson on “Bad Situations, Happy Endings,” especially since they got to make up their own endings at the end of class.

14:40-15:00 Get coffee. Stat. “Café den da (iced black coffee). Mang ve (take home).” “Khong co duong,” I add as she reaches for the sugar. Yup. That kind of day. Return to class and ask the students to form a U around me with their chairs. They know the routine. Unfortunately, the first class doesn’t because I usually don’t come to class in time to ask them.

15:00-16:40 Second speaking class. Same lesson, more confidence. Students move around and participate willingly. Keo xop chuoi is also involved.

16:40 Relax. Check e-mails. Respond. Clean the room. Pack for Ha Noi to take care of visa extension documents and for Fulbright 20^th Anniversary in Vietnam Gala.

18:40 Call Mailinh Taxi to pick me up to meet with Nhuanh, who’s visiting from Sai Gon for a wedding, for dinner. Anticipate they’ll be 10 minutes late because they’ll go to the front gate of the dorms instead of the back – even though I instructed them to meet me at the back gate.

18:50 Receive a call from Mailinh as I’m waiting outside. Of course you’re at the front gate. I asked for back gate. In front of the school. Thanks.

19.05 Meet Nhuanh for banh Hue, and even up getting hella dishes: nem lui (ground pork spring rolls), banh khoai (fried pancake with veggies, shrimp and pork), banh beo (rice flour cakes with dried shrimp), banh loc (glutinous clear flour cakes with shrimp and pork inside), and banh ram it (rice flour pancakes with ground shrimp). Receive my gift from Vay and Armael from Nhuanh: a Vietnamese banana with a loving message, along with an amazing drawing depicting my version of the cookie joke. Hella love.

20:05 Take a xe om (motorbike taxi) to 20 Ha Noi Street for my bus to the airport. (ironically to Ha Noi).

21:59 Board the plane. Vietnamese womyn behind my seat puts her foot on my arm rest. Conflicted with pushing arm rest back, allowing her foot to fall back in her area, or think to myself, “When in Viet Nam, [allow Vietnamese people to] do as Vietnamese people do.” Jeez, her toenails are long.

22:05 Plane takes off five minutes early. Womyn to my left gestures impatiently with her hands and face, telling me to put my computer away, as if me putting away this laptop is a matter of life or death. Long toe-nail lady puts her foot down, and I victoriously (and cautiously) reclaim my arm rest by putting my elbow down. Then I feel her toe sneak up against my arm.

22:11 Womyn to my left tries to snitch on me about having my computer open on the plane. Seat belt sign off, computer can be out. “Khong sao (it’s okay),” the flight attendant says to her. Ta-dow – how do you like me now?! (Probably not at all. And yet, she’s trying to see what I’m typing). Get back to reading “World War Z,” my favorite bedtime story thus far.

23:05 Land in Ha Noi. Run around asking if Vietnam Airlines bus is still running. Multiple people say no, but say I should walk around outside to look. No one’s in the VN Airlines bus. A driver from another bus calls me over. “40,000” he says in Vietnamese-accented English, as he points to a mini-bus that I thought was already full. He ends up packing 16 people and multiple boxes/luggage into a 12-passenger bus. I ask about how to get to 24 Hang Ga, where I am to meet Huong to stay with her. Bus driver says he doesn’t go there. Man next to me asks me more about it. Then bus driver decides to take me there. Says a taxi will cheat me for my money if I don’t know my way

00:10 Arrive at 24 Hang Ga. Old friends from Rising Dragon Grand Hotel greet me, and Hong takes me over to Huong’s place. Cross the old bridge over the river. Call Huong when we’re there. Huong sleep talks on the phone.  Call again 5 minutes later. She gets me. Sleep on the most comfortable bed I’ve been in since Ha Noi. Good night.