Being a Viet Kieu Womyn

Simply put, "Viet Kieu" means "overseas Vietnamese." In a more complicated sense, being Viet Kieu can be a blessing and a curse. During orientation, we were warned by Ms. Ginger Davis about the difficult nature of being Viet Kieu in Vietnam. As children to people who fled the country while it was "reunifying," people of the older generation can hold grudges against what we represent rather than who we personally are. However, I've learned that there's more to that in the interactions that I've had with Vietnamese people, especially as a Viet Kieu womyn. I will illustrate what I mean by comparing and contrasting my (VKW) interactions with Vietnamese people as a Viet Kieu Womyn versus any other foreigner's (AOF) interaction with Vietnamese people.

1) When greeting / talking to a new Vietnamese person:
To AOF: "*smiles and giggles* Oh, your Vietnamese is so good!"
To VKW: "*frown of disappointment* Your Vietnamese is horrible / You lost your culture." or the occasional "*smiles and giggles* Oh, your Vietnamese is so good! Did your family speak to you in Vietnamese growing up?"

2) When hanging out with a group of Vietnamese womyn:
To AOF (usually in front of me): "Oh, you're so beautiful / handsome!"
To VKW: *stares at my hair* "Are you growing out your hair?" (inferring that that's what I should do) or "Why are you so dark? I thought you were Lao."

3) When talking to an elder:
To AOF: *usually welcoming, smiling demeanor*
To VKW: "Where are your parents from? When did they leave Viet Nam?" *calculates what year that is relative to the war* *silence* "You need to improve your Vietnamese."

4) When bargaining at a market:
To AOF: *overcharges with a smile*
To VKW: *overcharges without a smile*

Okay, that's not to say that I always get negative experiences as a VK. I definitely am able to get closer to my students and other Vietnamese friends because I have some capacity of speaking Vietnamese. In fact, when I was hanging out with Hong and Tuan Anh the other day, I was able to initiate telling a story in Vietnamese rather than just responding to their questions. (That's a pretty big deal when we're thinking about extra-language development, and it should be marked in my Vietnamese Language Learner progress report for my first-quarter report.) Also, growing up with some Vietnamese customs engrained in my mind has helped me make less faux-pas when navigating this new environment. (However, I still notice that AOFs are more easily forgiven than VKs are -- the curse of high expectations.) I guess those less-pleasant interactions come from the high expectations that Vietnamese people have for other Vietnamese folks, whether or not they were actually raised in Vietnamese.

However, upon reflecting on these experiences, I'm not upset with myself and the people themselves. In fact, thinking more about my interactions with students and womyn in general, I'm more so upset about the internalization of what beauty means in Vietnam. I constantly hear about students talking about how their skin color is ugly is it's not white enough, how fat they think they are (when they're 2/3 my size), how much they don't like their hair, etc. You wonder where they get these conceptions of beauty, then you turn on the TV and see female actors in shows and advertisements with skin as white as snow, who are as thin as my wrist.

Of course, the level of media influence here is no different from America, but somehow here, a lot of young womyn are less self-confident and internalize these negative thoughts about themselves. Hence, when I do have one-on-one conversations with some of them,  I make it a point to talk about awesome they are and how much they don't need a man to make them happy. In fact, a couple friends and I here tend to go off on our womyn-empowerment tips whenever we see each other and hang out with others. Shoot, maybe I should initiate a conversation about starting up a womyn's club for the school with some of the other teachers so we can take these type of discussions to the next level. Or I could relate the next speaking / American culture lesson to seeking things that we like within ourselves (thanks Jenelle for the idea!). Whatever the next step is, it has to help address the students' mental and emotional health so they can feel more confident in themselves, and thus be more comfortable in the classroom and life in general.