Saigon Oi!

While talking to my cousin Chi Dung today about my father's hystory in Saigon, I found myself tearing up ... Not that she was telling me a sad story -- in fact, she was telling me fun stories. She was telling me about how her, my father, and my uncle used to hang out while my dad and uncle were attending a university in Saigon. She told me how " quay " my dad was at that age, and how he took her out to fight with people. She told me how their minimal age difference -- even though she's technically considered his niece in Vietnam -- made it really easy for them to be close friends. I teared up because these were stories I wish I heard about growing up. Because I wish my father and her could still easily meet up. Because it took me 25 years and enhanced Vietnamese comprehension to learn this much about my family. Because I knew I have to learn more Vietnamese and have more opportunities to hang out with my relatives to learn more about my parents.

I lived so long not knowing much about my parents while I was in America. I could easily ask them about their roots and about what life was like back in Vietnam, but because of the war, I initially found it hard to ask in fear that asking would bring back sad memories. Another thing is that, because we grew up in isolation from other Vietnamese folks and relatives, and because there was such a huge language barrier, it was hard to learn about my family's hystory through relatives. I recall going to my friends ' house as a kid and learning about their family members easily because they all spoke English, and such was never the case in my own family.

Now that I'm in Vietnam, I feel like I've been working towards filling in this void, and every time I leave conversations with my cousins, my heart feels so much fuller, and my mind so much stronger from acquiring the skills of my mother tongue. This journey in Saigon began in Danang when I arrived Thursday morning to hang out with my cousin Khoai. Khoai is really my brother from another mother. We drove around all day, visited my uncle and aunt in Hoi An, exchanged stories, helped each other develop our language skills -- and I find myself using the same words I used with Khoai during my conversations with my cousins here in Saigon. Because I've been improving at such a fast rate, they feel more free to talk about different topics with me because they know I'll understand them to some extent. They even tell me every time I hang out with them that I've been speaking so well, even though I mistakenly use the wrong pronouns to refer to myself and them at times. (It's really hard to consistently refer to myself as "di" (aunt) when my "nephew" is a year older than me.)

My Saigon / Danang / Germany? family all came through for Bac Thanh and Co Phuong's wedding!

The traditional tea ceremony where the bride and groom have tea and pastries with the family.

Cousins (plus the new addition of Chi Ngoc, Co Phuong's daughter)

The womyn of the fam in front of the wedding banquet hall, where we were to consume hella food and beverages in celebration of such a wonderful union.

The men of the fam at our karaoke after-party. Chu Tam (not pictured) was very proud of me for matching the men in a nhauing match. Haha.

My "niece" Trang and her newborn son. So, I'm technically a grand-aunt now -- "ba di." Chi Dung gets a kick outta calling me that.

Another thing I've been grateful about regarding this trip is the chance I got know Bac Thanh. Growing up, I considered Bac Thanh a distant uncle because he lived in France, hence making it difficult to get to know him. However, he recently retired to Saigon and invited me to his wedding this past Friday. Knowing I rarely get to be part of much a momentous occasion on this side of the world, I flew down the day before and stayed with him for two days. During this trip, I have gotten to know him, his newly-wedded wife, and her daughter, Chi Ngoc, who is only older than me by one year -- and I immediately felt at home with them. They took care of me during my stay, and I have become really close with Chi Ngoc within the past couple days. I admit that I'm pretty sad to leave Saigon tomorrow, but at least I know that I'm only a short flight away from them.

Chi Ngoc took me to "Nga Hang Ngon" (literally "Delicious Restaurant") for brunch one morning. There, we bonded over Bun Thit Nuong -- yum!

Final dinner with fam -- Co Phuong, Bac Thanh, Chi Ngoc and her husband Anh Tung, and me